amandacarrol's blog post - Lady Colleen the early years

Lady Colleen and I have been together almost 20 years ago. I had been going out with other crossdressers to various support group events. Typically that involved a rubber chicken dinner and a couple of days of dressing at an out of town hotel. We would also get together at each others home for dinner drinks but everything was strictly social. No sex as many of us were still hoping to meet that special woman who would except us for who we were. After a few years a male/crossdresser and genetic female came to me and told me of a woman they had meet on a double date a few weeks back. The person she was with was also trans and they were going their separate ways. They said why not meet her she is bi-sexual and excepting of crossdressing men. I agreed on the condition that she was told before hand that I was a crossdresser. I had grown fond of dressing and I didn't want to hide it from anyone I was dating. All agreed and we met for dinner. A few weeks later we got together for dinner at my apartment and we started dating.

Our third date was an overnight stay for a social event out of town. The event was put on by the group I belonged to and was the vehicle by which I had met the couple who introduced us. Upon arriving at the room checking in and getting settled Lady Colleen (then just Colleen) handed me a wrapped gift. I was very surprised by this and frankly feeling a little overwhelmed but I opened it to find a short teal silk chemise nightie. Oh my I couldn't help it I broke down into tears. No-one had ever bought Amanda anything never mid a real woman. Needless to say I wore it to bed that night and made love to Lady Colleen in it the next morning.

Colleen and I continued to date for several years. We went out socially with friends and had what others outside of our circle of crossdressing friends saw as a normal male female relationship. I was in heaven as I could dress when ever I wanted and I slept in a nightie every night. I wore the teal one out and was a little sad when I finally had to get rid of it. We had and still do have a full regular life were no one knows of Amanda. After a few years of dating we purchased a home and moved into together. After a few more years we got married. I am sure some are hoping to hear about kinky sex but for us it was and still is normal for both of us to wear a silky nightie to bed and have very plain regular sex in the am.

As we have aged things have changed between us. Although we are still committed to our marriage and neither of us would change that my ability to satisfy Colleen has ended. We still have sex but it is not as frequent or as good as it was in the beginning. I don't get as erect as I used to and this results in difficulties having penetrating sex. Leaving Colleen unsatisfied. In late 2012 I lost my job and was out of work. I did various odd jobs but was older and could not find a suitable position (pay wise). I spent many days at home which was great for Amanda but it put a lot of stress on our marriage,. Colleen would get up and leave for work at a job she hated and I would stay home all day dressing as Amanda. I would take pictures and post them to Flickr. I would chat on Yahoo chat (god I miss the chat rooms on Yahoo) and when I was good and ready I would cum and change back to boy mode. I would spend the afternoon looking for work sending out resumes and applying for jobs online.

One afternoon after cumming on cam in a chat room I got up to get changed. While taking a shower Colleen came home from work early. In the shower I didn't even notice she had come home. I dried off and headed to the bedroom to get dressed when I heard her crying in front of my computer. I was devastated as I was sure this would be the straw that broke the camels back and I would be single again. As I walked in there I was on the computer. A picture of me in my garter belt stocking bra and panties, hair and makeup done. She looked at me and told me what a fool I was. How did I expect to get a job if people saw the pictures. Even worse, if I was goofing around taking pictures and posting them on line I was not looking for a job which we needed financially. She got up and left the house. I was sure she would never return. I don't know but I think she spent the night at her mother's house.

The next day Colleen came home from work and sat me down at my computer. She made me open every page for every group I belonged to. She wrote down web addresses user id's and passwords. She then sent me to the guests bedroom with instructions to remain there for the remainder of the evening. When Colleen got up in the AM she told me she would leave me forever if I posted another picture. I was to spend the day in boy mode and start to search for a real job or else. I did as instructed and it was the last we spoke of the incident for a few weeks. Eventually she calmed down and told me her true feelings. She felt betrayed as she had always let me dress. She had never restricted my dressing activities and to find out what I was doing behind her back hurt her deeply. That was 8 years ago and I am sure she is still not completely over it.

After a month or so Colleen began leaving out outfits for me to wear during the day. I had to be in the exact outfit when she arrived home from work, the house had to be clean. the laundry done. and dinner needed to be ready. After dinner I had to produce proof that I had applied to a minimum of 5 jobs and called to follow up on any leads generated. My life became very regimented and I began to serve more as the house maid than a husband. I was and still am ok with that as I was the one who made the error and I need to do whatever I can to make it right. Ultimately my job search failed. In the end we purchased a seasonal business that gives us a great deal of freedom in the summer but keeps us very busy in the winter. This incident changed our relationship. It has progressed in ways that I never thought it would when we first met. More on the current state of things next time.