ebonyblack's blog post - i kissed a man. and his cock and i liked it

i thought the walk to the train station would clear my head. but i was still quite drunk by the time i got there. a bit woozy in the head. not very well at all. i wanted to run for the last train when i saw it coming in. but i did not try. in case the exertion made me vomit. i just walked along. burping. and watched the train leave without me.

a long walk home now, i thought. and i was desperate to pee. belly all bloated with too much beer. so tight it was aching. i headed straight for the station car park. i was not going to use the toilets. just piss in the bushes. i told myself. over and over again. dont go near those toilets.

i knew what went on in there. it was scrawled all over the walls.. different cubicles for different types of pervert...showing off their 'acquired tastes' ...."let me suck your cock, Fridays"...."i'd love to lick your balls all night long"...."my butt is wet and warm and waiting for you.. "i need my arse shagged deep and slow"...."my rod is stiff and hard for you"..."wrap your face around me, any Tuesday"..."ring this number".

i had been propositioned in there before. a man whispering to me through the hole in the wall. it was so embarassing. i don't know about you but i just cannot do anything when someone barges into the cubicle next door. especially not when there is a great big hole in the wall. so you knew he could look in any time. but at least he didn't do that. not to start with anyway. he just sat there quietly for a while. i was hoping he would go. but he stayed. and then he started whispering to me.

telling me he knew why i was there really. he just knew i was horny. i liked the taste of cock. there was no point me denying it. and how big his own stiff cock was. right then. just the other side of the thin cubicle wall. long and fat. with a big purple head. waiting for me to unlock my bolt and let him in. his cock was swelling now. getting hot.

an eye appeared at the hole. he gave me a little wolf whistle. such a pretty face. no wonder i thought girlie thoughts, he said. i was as pretty as any girl. i must dream all the time of being with a big hot man like him. those pretty lips needed red hot cock between them. his big cock. just perfect for my young eager mouth.

the problem was he was right. i was feeling horny. my cock had leapt when he spoke to me. and got stiffer and stiffer the longer he went on. the dirtier he got. i was so ashamed. and hoped he did not see. when he peered through that hole. and talked all sleazy like that. just how randy i got. but he did see. he saw my hand trying to hide my erection. as i spotted him peering through.

no point hiding it now, he said. your secret is out. you're aching for a real man, aren't you?. someone with real size. to stretch your lips wide. should he just poke it through the hole? and let me look at it? you wanna touch it, dont you? his eye disappeared. i let out a sigh of relief. i was hot and flushed. and slightly scared. seriously bothered by myself. my thumping head. and bulging pulsing dick. i didn't really fancy men, did i? men in toilet cubicles talking dirty about big cocks? did i? i pulled at my foreskin a few times. to calm down the desperate need. not at all sure of myself. not sure one bit.

suddenly there it was. all big and stiff and angry. jutting out from the wall. right by me. nearly poking me in the eye. he was big. i had to admit. far bigger than i was. 8 maybe 9 inches. i had seen bigger in photos. but this was real life. and there it was. shoved through a hole in the wall for my inspection. he must be rammed hard up against that wall to offer it to me like this. how strange. did he do this often?

i just stared at it. i felt so odd. not repulsed like i thought i should be. not at all. actually i felt it was quite a thing of beauty. powerful, rampantly intense beauty. and so exciting. to have a cock that big shoved in front of your face. looking so sexy and deliciously tempting. making my groin go wild. but dangerous too. what kind of man was he? should i let this go any further?

a battle was starting inside me. i was startled at my own pleasure. like inside i had been waiting for this to happen. so two people in me had begun a fight. between the oh-so-straight never-do-anything-wrong boy my parents knew. and the devil-may-care try-anything-once just-enjoy-the-moment person. the one who did not care about being gay. the one who did not worry what my parents would say.

if they could see me now. nor my sisters and brothers and friends. who would all be so shocked that i had not walked out in disgust. the straight me was trying to keep a lid on things. by reminding me of all the horror on their faces. but oh god it was so thrilling being here. it was my life, wasn't it?

unsure what to do i let my hand drop to my crotch. and masturbated myself as my eyes took in all the details of his manhood. the way it arched slightly upwards. much fatter at the base and tapering off quickly. with the knob very much bigger than the shaft right next to it. still many wrinkles in the skin. suggesting we had yet to see him at full stretch. perhaps i could do something about that?! i pulled at myself ferociously just thinking about it. my limbs ached with weariness from the guilty fight inside me. or from pure undiluted lust?

after a few moments, the cock seem to sag slightly. like it was no longer sure. why don't you hold it? the voice was less of a whisper. more like an urgent instruction. he was getting impatient. i hesitated. you should lick it, he said. the cock reared up again at the thought. the skin pulling back. until nearly the whole head was exposed.

i gazed longingly at the proud moist purple skin. it stank of sex. male sex. i felt a lump in my throat. my head filling with the smell of his lust. it got to me. made me want more. i shifted on my seat restlessly. my arse was suddenly all warm and fluttery. go on, he urged. give it a little suck. then swallow it deep?!

i don't know, i told him. how do i know you're clean. maybe i'm not the first tonight? but as i spoke i lifted my hand to his shaft. just to see what it felt like. i ran my fingers lightly across the top. tracing the thick vein. then underneath. along the thick ridges of gristle. oooh. ummmm, he murmured. i repeated the journey along that bloated blue vein. there, does that feel good? i asked, as innocent as i could. revelling in my new found power.

sure does. but your mouth would be better. no longer urgent, just reminding me where we were headed. be patient, i said. you don't want it over, too soon, do you? at least i was in control. that was part of the thrill, i guess. knowing that he was rammed up hard against the wall. begging for me to please him. i would take my time.

hands and fingers wandering a little further. around the shaft. then into his crotch to stroke his sack and fondle his balls. i fought the urge to kiss them. once more retraced along those bony hard ridges of gristle. so strong and rigid. which made me shudder. all the way to the tip. i was just exploring, i told myself. just seeing what he feels like. how it was to touch another man. but the throbbing in my groin told me i was in far too deep. there was no way i could even stand up. let alone leave.

he bulged proudly with each caress. all thick and fat and full of steel hardness. how big could i make him grow? i pulled the foreskin forward and watched all the creases in his skin straighten out. then bent down and gave the smooth shaft a little kiss. a quick peck at first. then a few little licks. sort of teasing him, really.

i cannot believe i am doing this! to a strange man. i knew this was not the kisses he had in mind. nor the licks. but it was a big step for me. just to kiss a cock. to put my face to his manhood like that. and smell all his lust and desire so up close and personal. i felt a huge wave of elation flooding through me. i was growing up so fast. what an exciting adult thing to do. so i did it again. this time licking all along the shaft from base to tip. but being careful to keep the moistness tucked firmly away under the skin. i was not ready for that. not yet.

ooh that's good, he whispered. now grip it. yes that's right. wrap your fingers tight around it. yes good. now move the skin up and down. gently, gently, not too far. not too fast. that's better. a good steady rhythm. i followed his orders trancelike. like his cock was a wand. and he had hypnotised me. to pleasure him. just by shoving it through the wall. that would explain it. why i found it so easy. so exciting. he had waved his wand at me and made me gay. what a piece of magic!

as my right hand moved to and fro, my left did a little more exploring. tickling his balls. scratching my nails lightly across the saggy skin underneath them. then up over my other hand to touch the moist knob as i pulled the skin back. i was getting ready for it now. i slowed down slightly to give me more time to explore all the exposed, sopping skin. rubbing my fingers through all the wetness. the gnarled ridge seemed to fascinate me. so i ran the tips of my fingers around it several times. making him give out a low moan of delight.

is this your first time? yes i said. smiling at the cock. as if it was speaking to me. my new lover. a 9 inch cock. i thought so, he said. but i can tell you are a natural. you love the taste of cock. you just need to try it. why not give it a little lick, now? i pulled the skin right back and held it there. there was a strange pressure on the back of my head. like an invisible hand forcing me forward. i had to really fight just to keep myself from giving in. i so wanted to do it. eager to taste him. thirsting for him. but it was still so big a thing to do.

like holding him in his hand was one thing. even kissing the shaft and licking it from end to end. but putting him in your mouth was like.. well i knew he would want to come inside me. even expect me to swallow it. could i do that? i noticed i was panting. hot and sweaty. and shaking all over. he urged me again, go on you know you want it. yes i could do that. i was screaming for it!

i ran my fingertips all over his wet knob. looking at the tiny tiny creases in the shiny purple velvet. fighting fighting with myself not to suck. but i just had to taste him. i needed to know the taste of his sex. so i put my sopping wet fingers to my lips and licked them. yes, and i liked it. at the same time i put my nose to the knob and breathed deeply. taking a deep draught of his manhood. god it smelt good. my cock twitched violently. and began to seep juice.

What, like this? i asked at last. as my tongue traced round that gnarled ridge that i seemed to love. licking up all the greasy fluids that had gathered there. yes, yess. ooooh, that's good. do it again. don't stop. the taste of manhood now flooded into my mouth. salty, potent. it seeped and oozed around my teeth and gums. i more than liked it. i loved it. my whole body shook with pleasure. my groin was tearing apart. i felt my cock would burst. so perhaps he was right after all? i did love the taste of a man. my pretty lips were good for sucking cock? this cock anyway.

i just had to have more. my face fell on him. my lips sucked hard. my mouth wrapped around his shaft. my tongue licked frantically at the helmet. ooh, aaah he moaned. but to be honest my own pleasure was more important now. to feel him inside me. so good. better than you can imagine. part of my head was still screaming this was crazy. but the rest of me was happy. delirious, in fact. this was lust as it was meant to be. i began thrusting my neck as hard as i could. trying to hold his twitching cock still as i forced it to the back of my throat.

my arse clenched. as if jealous of being neglected. my head swirled with dangerous thoughts. that's what gay bois do, isn't it? let their older lovers prise their bum cheeks wide apart. and bugger them ruthlessly. suddenly it all seemed so obvious. as if having him so deep inside my mouth made it plain. just how much more fun would it be to have him up my arse? would i let him do that to me? all the while I pumped and pumped. god i wanted him so.

oh my christ, he barked. that's too much. no don't stop. my jaw was aching like mad. but i kept on thrusting my neck back and forward. so keen to please him. so eager to make him come. then suddenly noises outside. two rowdy young lads shouting at each other. about the girls they had chatted up. they came staggering in, clearly pissed. and emptied their beer noisily into the urinal. laughing about what they were going to do to the girls when they got them home.

we both stopped dead. slowly i slipped him out of my mouth. but for some reason i couldn't let go of him. i just held him there. his body rammed hard against the wall. unable to move an inch. worse that that. i held his balls in my other hand. and began to wank him. gently of course. just to keep him stiff. and ready for me. when these two lads had gone. but they took an age. and i was getting bored. so i started wanking him harder. and harder. he could say nothing. he could do nothing. completely trapped. my prisoner.

just as they were walking back out the door, i noticed the helmet bulging and swelling. and his shaft was even stiffer. even fatter. the skin pulled completely taut. no sign of a single crease or wrinkle. i guessed what was happening. and shoved my face back round the end. and pumped my neck a few more times. he stifled a massive groan. then waited.

glorious creamy gallons of gunk spewed out of him. coating my whole mouth. at the end of each spurt i pushed my tongue up. and squeezed him against my palate. making sure i milked him dry. ooooh you little horny bitch, he cried. you little sum slut. i liked that. being called a horny bitch. and a cum slut. somehow it was what i wanted to be.

the oddest, most wonderful thing. each time he spat more, i did too. except of course there was no mouth to catch mine. it went everywhere. i didn't care. i would leave it there. let the world know this was where i gave my first blow job. anyway my mouth was full soon enough. no matter how many times i tried to gulp and swallow. he just kept coming. until it spilt out of my nose and from my lips. and formed great drying chunks on my chin. before dropping to the floor. his spunk and mine mixing together on the grimy tiles of our lovenest.

after a while he began to soften. and my attempts to milk him seemed to start to irritate him. so i slackened my jaw and let him pull away. that was very good, he muttered. was that really your first time? you were such a randy little whore. i can't believe you've not sucked loads of cock before. maybe not big ones, like mine? was that what got you so horny, my little tart?

i couldn't answer him. my mouth was still full of drying globs of spunk. stuck to my teeth and gums. that i was desperately trying to free up with my fingers and tongue. so i could swallow them. i tried to mumble, yes it was your big cock. i thought it would please him. maybe even keep him talking. i liked the way he was using me with his words. i wanted to be his randy little cock slut. his too horny whore. my anus was on fire. i was thinking that maybe it did not need to end. just yet?

i heard him buckle up his jeans and zip himself away. the thing is, he said, i would love to shag the arse off you. but there's a problem, there. if you really are a virgin, that is. you won't be able to take a cock my size too easily. you might bleed. but worse than that. you probably need a flush. have you ever... echum... had a colonic? i could take you back to my flat and give you one, i suppose. but it can get very messy when we are both drunk like this.

i sat there in horror at the sheer medical bluntness of his words. suddenly the awful biological reality of gay sex came crashing in on me. brown-hatters? shit-stabbers? that's what they were. and he wanted to give me an enema. just how disgusting was that? i felt physically sick. unable to cope.

i pulled up my trousers and ran out. without checking to see even what he looked like. this guy who had just come in my mouth. i just had to escape. off up the street. as fast as i could go. when i stopped running, i realised my trousers were soaking. i couldn't go home just yet. i needed to think.

it was all so complicated. i had to admit i was different. i tried not to be. i truly did. i liked girls. i liked being with them. going with them. touching them. even kissing them. i mean between their legs. they liked that. my girl said i was very good. far too good. so we always did it that way. i didn't mind. she tasted nice. i felt really proud when she came.

though i had to admit i often got funny feelings looking at other men. not boys like myself. i mean men. older men, real men. like when i was down the gym or the Sports Hall. maybe naked in the changing rooms. those with beefed up pumping iron bodies. covered in layers of lined strapping muscle. showing off. flexing themselves in front of the mirrors. you know the ones i mean. the confident ones. those with a lot...down there.

but i hated myself for it. i didn't want to become a queer. i hated the very idea of being called gay. i came from a tough family. who lived in a rough neighbourhood. any mention down our street of an 'iron hoof' or 'front n rear' was always met with catcalls and jeers. you could feel the violence waiting to lash out.

it was not just what my parents thought. it is what everyone would think. and say and do. i would get beaten up. laughed at. no-one would dare talk to me. i had to keep my feelings secret. most of all i had to keep tonight secret. i was glad we never saw each other's face. our secret was even secret from each other. let's keep it that way. unless i went back of course. to find him again? i put it out of my head. and turned for home.

when i got home everyone was asleep. thank christ for that. i went straight to my bedroom and hid my shirt and jeans. they were both covered in spunk stains. i would have to deal with them somehow. then i took my cock out. it was still dripping with juices. just like his cock looked when he first shoved it at me. and it stank of lust. just like him.

what was it that did that? down there in the darkness. where all our secrets hide. was his cock really that big? would it really have made me bleed? why did i care? worst of all, i just had to play with myself. as i chewed the last remaining bits of his lust, i shot loads for the second time.

for weeks the moment stayed with me. an odd, dark excitement. i felt adult and aloof. somehow distant from everyone i knew. but there was a creeping sense of shame. the details became fuzzy. how did he see my cock? had i truly tried to hide it? or was i trying to show him? is that what turned him on? made him keep at me? offer his cock like that to me. that cock so near to my mouth. that i just had to taste. just bend forward. and pop it in.

why did i keep going back to that car park? just to look in those toilets. every time i could. i just had to go. always curious. wondering about those offers. those strange exotic promises. especially in the end cubicle. where it seemed only black men wrote...

"i have 9 inches of thick big black cock for your mouth to drool over"... "Black Hung Stud. young white boiz suck me through this hole every Wednesday".. "i love to stick my fat dark meat up preety white boyz"..."let me stretch yor tite white ass until yo burst and bleed"..."then yo can gobble my big black pole. cumslut white boi. an lik my kreem"..."i am your black master. superior ruler of your pathetic pale flesh. i command you to serve me. you will be my white bitch whore. my cockslave. your weak pale body serving my black muscle needs. sucking at my black meat".

it was just too wierd. who were these people? that somehow seemed to fascinate me. so each time i went past. i just had to go back in. each time i found a reason to be there. yes, i had even missed the train because i wanted to make one more visit. of so many visits. longing for things i did not understand. sometimes i looked at pictures too. like the underwear packages in the stores. those gorgeous male models. all rippling torsos, carved buttocks and bulging groins. all this manhood flaunted in front of me. tempting me.

i would sneak in there after school and catch glimpses of them. then hide in the changing rooms. imagining one of them was in there with me. flirting with me. trying to seduce me. trying to kiss me. on the lips. i wondered what kissing a man was like. a naked body in only his underpants next to mine. being taken in a strong man's arms and feeling his hardness. pressing against me. then hot in my hands. waiting for the coolness of my wet mouth... usually i had to dash to the store bathrooms to relieve myself quickly!

my girl had made me miss the bus that night. she always did. kept me there until i had to run. or miss it. she did it to tease me? i thought. or maybe make me prove how much she meant to me? i dunno. i never knew. the sex with her was so horny though. not normal sex. i mean oral sex. i just told you that. she told me she wanted me to kiss her down there. so that's what i did.

i liked it. lying between her wide open legs. for hours at a time. kissing and licking. lapping and sucking. drawing her button in between my lips. and rubbing the tip of my tongue on it. sometimes just breathing on her for minutes on end. other times shoving my fingers right up her as she rammed my face hard against her cunt. until she writhed and moaned.. and shuddered and shivered. and told me how good it was.

afterwards she would offer to take my cock out. and play with it for a while. but it never worked out. every noise, every car door slam was her parents coming home. no time. zip it up. hurry before they came in. why did she never worry about that when she was hot and sweaty. and shouting out loud about how good my tongue was? not that i minded that much. she was useless with my cock anyway. often hurt it with her clumsy fumbling.

that night she had not even offered. i was glad. i was too pissed anyway. made me good with my tongue though. she had clung to me afterwards. shaking and shivering. nibbling my ear. telling me how wonderful i was. even though she stank of sweat. it had gathered on her top lip. and collected on the hairs there. making them dark. like a moustache. she said she was sorry. for being so selfish. i said it was ok. i meant it. i knew i would find someone else soon.

as i walked to the station i kept thinking about which girl i should go for next. but it did not seem to calm the aching rage down below. my girl may have started it. but it seemed like no girl could finish it. what was wrong with me? my cock was bursting. but... but... why did my mind keep thinking of that car park? that toilet? that one night of hot-headed foolishness. my little skirmish with a gay man who i never actually met. would i ever see him again?

as i got to the car park i headed for the trees. but i glanced over. as casual as can be. there was a man loitering there. pacing up and down impatiently. he was not the usual type. not the sort you would meet in our no-hope one-horse hick town. he looked rich and distinguished. like he was famous, and used to the better things. an expensive coat with the collar up. and a big mess of black hair. gleaming all shiny in the darkness. swept back in a quiff.

he kept brushing his hand through it. as he strode up and down. tall and lean. still so impatient. waiting for someone. but who? me? he caught my eye. and stopped and stared. i stopped to look back at him. was he as handsome as i thought? was i imagining it? i screwed my eyes up tight. but i could not make out much of him under the dingy neon light. was he smiling at me? willing me to come over. i could not tell. but just the thought of it was enough to make my heart leap. make me start towards him. to find out who he was.

as soon as i began walking i got nervous. all shaky inside. my stomach churning. my chest hurting. my pulse racing. there was something dangerous happening. but too enticing to ignore. i guessed, well knew really, what he was after. i told myself i could be wrong. he was waiting for his woman. or someone he knew. but why did i scoff at the thought? why had i turned towards him? did i want him? to take what he wanted from me? what was i doing here anyway?

my head crowded with troubled thoughts. i had known i would come here. no matter how much i told myself no. a part of me did not want to rush home. wanted to miss the train. to find out if anyone was here. it had been like that all the way to station. since i left my girlfriends house. i had been feeling horny and confused. wondering what i really wanted.

i stared down at my feet as i made my way over uncertainly to this stranger. i remembered all the times i tried not to look up at other attractive men. i would hide away in the corners when the big guys changed. all shy and nervous. but it was hard not to notice them. the way they flaunted their proud physiques. they would spend ages soaping themselves down in the showers. massaging their broad chests and firm buttocks over and over again. making me wish it was my hands on their body. feeling their male strength under my touch.

my mind was now crammed full of naked men. oiling themselves down after their soapy showers. rubbing lotions and creams into themselves. their fingers exploring all the private parts of their bodies. oh god how i wanted it to be my fingers. the well hung hunks were always the worst. they pull at their big fat cocks all the time. stretching them. until the skin goes tight. as if they want them to grow even longer. wouldn't it be nice to hold them. just for once. see how much they grew then!

how much worse it had been since that first taste of cock? that wonderful moment when i first bent to kiss him. when my mouth first wrapped itself around the sopping wet throbbing helmet. then to feel him spurt into me. all that lust. so much cream. that i had to chew and swallow for hours. my cock throbbed again at the thought of that night. was that why i was here?

so i had every reason to be nervous. about this man looking at me now. I talked to myself as i hurried over the tarmac. just go for a pee and then leave. ignore him. pretend he isn't there. but why did i not just run over to the bushes? why did i keep going? what did i want so badly? my heart was thumping. a lump was in my throat. my body was on fire. i just had to find out. if he wanted me. for sex. and what that was like. not just to taste him. god knows i wanted that. but more. full-on real sex, with a man. plunging deep inside my rear.

that's why i tried to avoid these toilets these days. those messages made me restless. i tried not to care. but i always got horny. got me all stiff reading them. especially those ones about big black men. i had seen photos of their giant dangling weapons. secret photos hidden at school. some just posing. like the men down the gym. but others more explicit too. of a young white boy lilke me sucking a huge black cock. and being made to lick his giant black balls. and getting his face covered in sticky white mess. smeared all over his cheeks and hair. washing around his teeth and gums. sliding out of his nose. and i came in my hand every time i looked at them.

he smiled as i walked up to him. an easy smile, a friendly smile. he was male model material. drop dead gorgeous. finely chiseled angular cheekbones. deep blue eyes. olive skin, perfectly smooth. until you got close enough. to see the jet black stubble of 5 o'clock shadow. that told you he was all man. no matter how pretty he looked. he was ferociously male. big wide mouth, fat red shiny lips with shining white teeth. still smiling at me like a long lost friend.

i smiled back. he just seemed so nice. so charming. so confident. a dapper handsome film star. smiling at me. outside a grotty bog by the railway. in our shitty little suburb. suddenly it just seemed unreal. like we were in one of his films. i was the bit part. waiting for my moment. my cue. 'Good evening' i said politely. trying to be brave.

'Good evening' he replied, grinning at me. but his grin was seeped in lust. demanding impatient sleazy lust. his eyes bore into mine. like he was already invading me. like he was already seducing me. like i was already his. god, that annoyed me. no wonder women loathe handsome men. they are just so bloody vain. so bloody cocksure. suddenly he no longer seemed so exciting.

"Are you looking for anyone in particular?" i asked, as if somehow that mattered. "Oh, I am very particular" he replied, still grinning at me. a stupid grin. worse than that. a leer. a lecherous sneering leer at me. as if he had to make no effort. i would succumb to his charms. without him even trying. he opened his coat. and stroked himself. to show his manhood. i was repulsed by this crude gesture. i don't know why. did i expect a bunch of flowers from him?!

but for a while his spell over me was broken. i hurried inside and unzipped as i walked. my dick started showering the urinal almost before i reached it. i heaved a sigh of relief. i had been so full it hurt to let go. the pleasure of release was almost like an orgasm. the flood was so full the noise was deafening. as it rained down on the hard metal. like a thousand drums and cymbals all at once.

i felt the tension flowing out of me with my piss. like i was a man again. no need to be scared. there was nothing timid about me now. my cock was full and big. and still my flood kept pouring out. making me feel strong. able to banish those secret desires that had been haunting me. i played with the golden stream. pointing it at different parts of the urinal wall. watching the patterns that it made across the metal. as it ran down into the gully.

i had been going for quite a few seconds. before my mind wandered back to him. the handsome man outside. he had decided against me. he could tell i was not really interested in him. he would wait for someone else? i was beginning to calm down. but there was an ache. an emptiness. a sense of disappointment. nothing had happened after all. my excitement had been a foolish teenage fantasy. it was all in my head.

then he walked in. just as my flood was starting to falter. draining my confidence with it. he strode up briskly. quite noisily. not at all as guilty as i thought he should be. accosting me like that. trying to turn me into a gay slut. right next to a stinking urinal. with the piss of a night's worth of drunkards around our feet. why did he have no shame? was i wrong? was he not really interested in me? how could i tell? why was he standing so close?

he stood quietly next to me as he fiddled with his clothing. the air filled with his after shave. a powerful sweet cologne. but mixed with his maleness. an aura of adult mystery. but perhaps too strong. yes, too powerful. like he was sweating heavily. all restless. pumping out male hormones in a cloud around us both. drowning out the acrid stench of stale pee.

it felt oddly flattering to think that heady sweat was all for me. my young heart fluttered with this special sign. of his passion. all saved up for me. his desire for me was so strong that he just had to have me. nothing else mattered. not even where we were. that was why he was so clumsy! he fancied me so badly. would i give in? he would have to wait and see!

"sounds like you needed that" he whispered leaning even closer towards me. "i sure did" i murmured, unable to look at him. i was anxious he might put me off. make me tense up again and stop. leave me still bursting to release more. just the smell of him was unsettling me enough. suddenly it felt dangerous again. but not exciting this time. his words had not worked their magic. any more than his stupid grin.

he might be mouth-wateringly handsome, but that was not enough. he might have an overpowering desire for me. but that was not enough either. i needed that excitement back again. that sizzling tingling rush across my flesh. or i was not ready to surrender.

i fixed my gaze on the gentle stream still easing from me. wondering how much more i had to do. how much longer before i escaped? suddenly i knew how a girl felt when the wrong boy makes a pass at her. or the right boy says the wrong thing. or maybe the right thing at the wrong moment. how could boys be so stupid? how could men be so disappointing.

he was looking at my dick. i was sure. my ears strained to hear if he had started peeing yet. i could not see in the darkness. oh god how embarassing. what if someone walked in? saw us like this? should i stop and run? "do you want me to hold it for you?" he asked as if he was offering a polite favour. "er, what? er no. no thanks. i don't do that" after a few moments silence he whispered in my ear again "well then, would you hold mine for me?" in the same gentle, courteous tone, as if it was only the right thing to do. a well-manned cordial gesture. oh christ! my head thumped. what now?

i looked over at his cock. i don't know why. perhaps i thought that was the polite thing to do. while i considered his request. but i was not ready for such a rude shock. he was not pissing. but pulling at himself. and it was already so big. i mean incredibly huge. thick and fat and ridiculously long. more like a truncheon than a cock. it was not yet stiff. but it was much bigger than last time. bigger than any i had seen before, even in pictures. bigger than i thought posible. just a few inches from me. i gasped, almost shouted in surprise.

he looked at me triumphantly. he began easing the skin back to reveal his shiny pink knob. then pulling the wrinkly flap back over the end. squeezing the knob between his thumb and forefinger. now it was stiffening. all the creased skin gradually stretching. the fat floppy shaft slowly bulging to hardness. swelling to a massive throbbing pork stick.

right here in front of me. like a great big baseball bat being waved at me. even bigger than the black blokes down the gym. even than the photos in my Dad's porn books. the ones who always had women giving them blow-jobs. greedily coating their poles with slimy saliva. those giant poles i dreamt of sucking. until i spurted cream all over my hand.

"oh my god. you're huge. absolutely fucking huge" i did not mean to say that. the words just spoke themselves. like it was so shockingly, delightfully true. i trembled as i spoke. i could not keep the bare massive fact inside. he was a giant of a man. an awesomely deliciously enticing huge great wonder cock. that i could not help but stare at. i felt my blood boil. a tidal wave of foaming frothing lust pour through every tiny vessel. flushes of hot and cold. the wooziness came back. flashes before my eyes. i started to sway.

some dribble slipped out of the side of my lips. and rolled down my cheek. staying on my chin for a second or two. before dropping to the floor. my tongue stuck to the top of my mouth. all the dark urges and desires began to wash through me. the tingling, burning dangerous excitement was back.

suddenly the air was thick with the smell of him. not just his after shave. and the discreet manliness i had smelt before. but the hot dank, sweaty scent of his groin. his cock and balls wafting up a great cocktail of lust. a potion of insistent, manly needs. i had smelt that aroma before. that told me what i had yearned to know.

he wanted me. and i loved it. he was desperate for me. i knew that now. my nose and head were filled with this fiery choking odour. his male sexual intensity seeping into my nostrils. and the thrill of it seared all the way through me. burnt into my very soul. and stays with me to this very day!

my own cock twitched violently into life. so much so that my piss stream rose up to horizontal. and started bouncing violently off the urinal wall. we both had to jump back to avoid the spray. i pushed my hard shaft down. even though it hurt me. i pointed my flow into the corner. out of harm's way.

"oh my god. sorry about that. i don't know what's got into me". he laughed, gently "i'm pleased. i wasn't sure you were interested". yes of course. now he knew my little secret. i'd made it obvious. he'd turned me on. it was not meant to happen. i had tried to tell myself. but it just had. the sight of that bloody great big cock had shown us both what i really was. the secret was out. he would tell everyone.

i might hide it down my street. but he spotted me right away. i had not been able to stop myself. i had walked in here asking for it. now my stiff rod told him i was begging for it. for what i secretly wanted to be. a dick-sucking faggot. a queer, a woofter. a cock-gobbler. but not just that. i had wanted my arse ripped apart by some he-man god. i had been dreaming about it for weeks and months. since that last time here. and before. i couldn't get it out of my head. even when i was with my girl. especially when i was alone in bed at night.

i could try to kid myself. but my own jutting pole told me the truth. i fancied men. especially well hung studs. what chance did i stand when faced with such massive awesome manhood? it scared me as rigid as my own dick. but i could no longer help it. i kept coming back for more. i was weak and helpless in the face of such male strength. gagging for it. i felt myself slipping down into a chasm of my own weakness. a new secret life. a dangerous life. into an unknown i did not choose. but could not avoid. my desire for him now hung over me like a great sadness.

i watched glumly as my manly stream turned to a high pressure fine jet. squeezed out from a tiny slit in my straining flesh. my little pink gayboi stick. as thick as a finger next to his truncheon. but still stiffer than ever. which told him i was up for grabs. another notch in his fuselage. a pathetic horny little slut. another young pretty boy. about to become his victim.

no? what? i shook my head. you're just pissed and woozy. you are letting him take advantage of you. he should know better than to pester young teenagers like me. a rich man like him. he could afford to find himself a proper lover. like one of those male models in the underwear store. soft, romantic, kissing each other over a stylish meal. not here, in a sleazy, stinking public toilet! get out of here quick! run, run, run....leave him. he's not worth it.

but i did not move. i was still peeing anyway. it was no use though. i knew that. my head was spinning. not just with the drink. his closeness had worked its spell on me. that groin smell flooding my brain. powerful, demanding. the brush of his arm next to mine. my flesh tingled with every touch. then of course the sight of that monster cock. every inch of me was alive with need. my whole body was trembling with excitement. my piss was still squeezing out. from the end of one of the hardest erections i had ever had.

i looked bigger than ever. but still i felt inadequate. his massive cock in front of me was teasing me. taunting me. a giant salami. he kept stroking himself. a thick fat rod swelling hypnotically. i just stood there staring at it. he pulled harder at the skin. until finally it pulled taut around his bulging length. he was at full stretch. waiting for me. again i felt myself dribbling. slobbering over him like a faithful puppy.

then he took my hand and wrapped it around his shaft. burning with heat. wrinkled with veins. throbbing with power. my fingers caressing the soft warm skin. smoothing the wrinkles. tracing the contours of pulsing fat flesh. and then the ridges of gristle. wandering from tip to crotch. just to be sure it really was that long. 'oh' i said numbly before biting my lip in ecstasy. how many times had i dreamt of holding a cock like this? how many times had i wondered whether it had all been a dream? that night i sucked a stranger's cock.

the fight in me drained away. i shut my eyes to take in the pleasure. the intoxicating salty-sweet odour of our lust. his large manly body. the touch of his flesh in my hand. the steel hard stiffness. the swollen pulsating fatness. the raw naked need for me.

did he get like this with all the boys? or was i special? could he tell i tried to run? did that make him so randy? was that why he came to this grotty bog? to find innocent young virgin boys like me? to prey on? take advantage of? seduce them when they are drunk and weak. and can't control themselves. how could they? not with a weapon like that dangled in front of them. how could anyone resist him? no wonder he was so cocky. he knew i would crumble.

my fingers continued to explore his long shaft. stroking it. kneading it. god his cock was stiff for me. rigid like concrete. and so bloody incredibly big. and yet when i squeezed it, it felt so soft and beautiful too. my first full-on gay moment had come upon me. i would let him fuck my arse. i was glad it was him. he was heaven. i looked down at the prize in my hand. the passport to untold joys that beckoned me. willed me on into adulthood.

i gently eased the skin back and forth. unsure how far to go. and then shuddered as the ridge of the swollen purple head slipped out. his great knob now fully exposed. silky smooth and shiny in the gloom. smeared with his seeping juices that still oozed from its little eye. sticky and sopping wet to the touch. my mouth so parched and dry.

and then another droplet gathered on the end. so enticing. without thinking i let go of my own dick and put my finger to his moisture. catching the juice before it fell. then another droplet. spreading across my fingertips. then i put them to my lips. and sucked at his sweet nectar. it filled my mouth at once. the bold clear taste of a man. a drug of sexual energy. i moaned with delight. i wanted more. so much more.

i pulled the foreskin to and fro a little further. back to the base of his shaft. until his helmet bent gently downward. the pink underside of his foreskin pulled right back. covered in slimy fluids. just like the red and gnarled and angry knob. all of it coated with his male juices. demanding to be licked clean. i ran my fingers round it all. coating them all with his moistness. and once more licked at them. sucking up all of his lust. finger by finger.

he tasted so good. i felt my knees go weak. i so wanted his moist flesh in my mouth. to drink up all that precious juice. i was about to drop to the floor right there. kneel down in front of him. in the middle of all that squalid piss. it no longer seemed to matter. just to wrap my mouth around his beautiful knob. i had lost control so completely.

he caught my elbow and held me steady. "In there" he whispered. and pushed me into the cubicle. he propped me up against the wall before turning to lock the door. suddenly i felt trapped. and thought i should escape. i turned to leave. but he put his arms out wide and stopped me. opening up his coat. his massive cock still stiff and wild inside. waving in front of him. as i tried to move past him our two erections met.

i stood stock still. right there. just to feel our hot flesh touching. i could not move. he dropped his hand and gathered his own stiffness and mine. pressing them together. forcing our cocks so tight together. our balls jiggling against each other. i shut my eyes again. oh my god. to feel his heat. wrapped in that soft flesh. that red hot poker. searing and scorching into me. to feel the burning energy of his passion. pouring out of his rod. his nuclear rod. sending my reactor into overload. piling fire into me. welding me to him. as it melted my manhood into him. and all my strength went with it. i felt knees sag once more.

"ooogh...ummmm" was all i could say. and stood there face down. chewing at my lip. a heavy aching weakness had suddenly washed through my limbs. that brief moment of nuclear fire had exhausted me. i leant my head into his chest. "no, no, no. don't be shy. don't go all quiet and english on me. it's time for fun. and passion" for the first time i noticed a slightly foreign lilt to his accent. but could not place it. i was about to ask him. when he lifted my chin up to face him.

"i want you. and i want you now." he said. it seemed so simple. so obvious. but it made me even weaker. he wanted me. not just anyone. but me. grabbing my arm, he moved me backwards. i sensed he was readying me for a kiss. a snog here in the grimy darkness. so he was a romantic after all. he liked to kiss his victims. i leant back against the wall. unable to support myself. i knew i was giving into him. giving into needs i had always fought. but the surrender was sublime. he wanted me. and i wanted him. and that big fat cock of his.

one of his hands grabbed my jaw and his face bore down on mine. as our mouths met our naked cocks pressed harder between us. his other hand was on my buttock. grabbing at it violently. forcing my groin against his. now we were joined together forever. top and bottom. he was going to inject me wtih molten lust. that great big fiery stick turning my cock to liquid. reducing me to rubble. becoming part of him. unable to survive without him.

his greedy hungry lips. kissing me all over my face. the harsh stubble burning into my skin. making me sore. tearing at my soft young cheeks. how i loved it. the careless roughness. his vicious passion. his total male assertion. me desperately kissing him back. wanting him to hurt me more. "yes, yes, yes" i gasped. grind that spiteful male stubble across my tender youthful flesh. rip me to pieces. be my man. let me be your lover. take me all the way. use the very depths of me for your lust.

I laughed quietly at my own wild abandon. just from one kiss. with a man. my new man. and i was a total slave. not like kissing a girl at all. no soft dewy eyed flirting. no hint of innocence. no say. no resistance. just painful, sweet acceptance. my heart soared at the release from all the months of waiting. the years of doubt. i knew he was the one. he was why i had to come back here. we were meant for each other.

his hands pulling at my jawbones. forcing my teeth apart. i gave out a loud sigh and let his tongue invade my mouth. a red hot dagger of muscle. piercing me. gouging me apart. how i had missed it. the feel of a man inside me. taking me. using me. just rampant full-on sex. like his tongue was also his cock. breaking me in. making me bleed with lust for him.

nothing i had ever done had prepared me for this moment. not even my first blow job. to kiss a man like this was something i had not really been able to imagine. so forbidden. so overwhelming. electric ecstasy. making me slobber and gobble with sluttish pleasure. sucking desperately at his tongue. trying to welcome it deeper. get him right inside me. like his kiss was telling me what he would take from me next. and my aching, hurting body was screaming yes. my shivering and quivering, shaking and shuddering was telling him he could have whatever he wanted.

telling me too. the long fight was over. the denial was over. the emptiness, the yearning hungry void that had been with me for so long. and now was waiting to be filled. i was ready to give myself to my man. my whole body writhed about him. drawing him into me. every nerve alive to his masculine roughness. and the thought of the awesome power between his legs. and where he might soon put it. let him choose. i would open myself up for him.

i did not want to let him go. sucked so violently at him. drawing his tongue-cock deep into my throat. my arms flung around his body pulling him tight to me. so elated at his overwhelming craving for me. i was no longer ashamed. i hoped somebody did walk in. i wanted the world to know i was now his.

he pressed me harder and harder against the wall. grinding himself into my groin. his hand down my trousers. his nails ripping at my buttock. and he tongue-fucked my mouth until my lips were bloated and bruised. my face red raw with the endless rasp of his bristles. his strong fingers pulled at my jaw until my bones ached. pushing my mouth wider. forcing himself deeper into me. getting me ready.

all the while that great big hot hardness was pressing into my flesh. reminding me of his maleness. so strong. so forceful. so confident and full of purpose. making me squirm. wallowing in how much lust he had for me. his fat pole injecting my crotch with his sex drug. turning me into his addict. both of us bathed in juices.

the sensations began to spread out. flowing from my cock and balls in a warm dull glow. across my stomach and spine. then up to my chest and neck. washing through my torso like lava. then falling back again like a retreating wave. collecting together in a tight volcanic ball. right up my backside. burning red hot. like my arse was about to explode.

then suddenly the heat washed away, leaving an empty gyrating chasm where my anus once had been. squelching folds of greedy flesh. twitching and convulsing. seeping lust. bloated lips puffing, then hungrily clenching and contracting. like it had its own life. its own needs. telling me what it was craving. longing to be filled. by that huge sword. stabbing me with delirious ecstasy. yes when would we do that? i could not wait to give myself to him. to feel him deep inside that chasm that used to be my arse. flooding me. owning me. delivering his seed into the most secret crevices.

but something else too. it seemed like his full-on masculine assault on me was dissolving my own sad half maleness. as my lust moved from my cock to my arse. i felt the boy inside evaporate like a ghost. leaving me. that volcanic rush of anal need had washed my weak and sorry attempt at manhood away. it was slithering and sliding out of my backside. skulking off to hide. leaving me empty of gender. waiting for his intrusion and instruction. waiting for his cock to flood me full of what he wanted me to be.

his pumping tongue was already filling my head with girlie thoughts. making me placid and passive. wrapping myself around his insistent insertion. dosing me up with the soft docile femininity. of the tart-whore cumslut he had decided to make of me. soon his iron-hard monster cock would do the same. turn me into a full-on female strumpet. a bitch whore cock-worshipping slave to his needs. whose arse would always be open for her man.

strange memories came flooding back. dressing in girl's clothes. secretly at home. my sisters skirts. and silk gloves and stockings. and hairbands. wearing make-up. in drama class. on stage. begging to be given a female part. the tingling excitement it always gave me. even dreaming of being a real girl. lying in bed sweating as i walked alone in some strange place. a flimsy dress with no panties. of being taken by strange men. and used and used again, endlessly. being gang-banged and left for dead. how my head had spun. and groin had ached.

now i understood. i had always wanted to be a girl. not really a girl. but a woman. i needed to find a man strong enough to make me one. someone powerful enough to turn me. and here he was. taking me over. turning me. melting me into a woman. his woman. the roughness of his flesh was moulding me to his desire. his kiss and cock were working his magic on me!

suddenly it all made sense. i could see myself bending over in front of him. my hand smoothing my silk stockings. over the new jewellery on my ankles he had just bought me. my fingers roaming over my high heel stiletto shoes. and up my trim calves. gently caressing all the creases out of the silk. across my freshly shaven thighs. pressing and pulling all the material tight and taut. all the way up under my dress to where the stockings stopped. then massaging the oily skin at the tops of my legs. lifting my white skirt high as i asked 'does my bum look big in this?' 'do you want to take me now?!'

and his hands greedily all over my soft buttocks. kneading them. pinching them. squeezing them. stroking the smooth white skin. slapping each side. one after the other. hard, then harder still. bringing them to redness. digging his nails in deep. drawing blood. parting the cheeks ruthlessly. his tongue licking hotly at my puffy bloated lips. making way for his bold insistent rod. with a buck of his hips forcing a brutal thrust. grunting as he made his grand passionate entrance. oh how he would fuck me. deep and hard and strong. till he flooded me with gallons of his chunky male cream.

the joy of knowing that coursed through me. my arms foraged inside his coat to find his flesh. eagerly i grabbed at his torso. swooning at the rippling muscles my fingers found there. drowning in my helpless adoration of my new master. flitting my fingers over his body to soak up his strength. sighing and gasping at how lucky i was he chose me. he chose me! to be his new lover! how i would please him so.

as i clung to him. i let him ride roughshod all over me. which he did. his mouth left mine and his teeth dug into my neck. he bit at my flesh in snarling spiteful snaps. chewing at my skin. grunting and growling. like a wolf eating its prey. each bite sending fire down my spine. making me crave him still more. i found myself tearing at his shirt. trying to kiss every inch of his chest. i couldn't get enough his flesh.

then just when i was all used up. and totally at his command. his hands reached for my shoulders. carefully easing me lower before plonking me on the pedestal. my jaw brushed against his cock as i sat down. smearing my cheek with his flood of oozing fluids. unthinkingly my hand lifted to wipe them off.

but it never got to my cheek, instead i found his groin. he had unbuckled himself and dropped his clothes away. for a few seconds i stared at the wetness of the helmet. so close to me. as had happened once before. noticing how it too was not completely smooth. but had tiny tiny creases, just like my first cock. and it too needed to be stroked and licked. it was all there for me. inches from my face. all my heart's desire. my fingers stroked the massive balls that swung beneath his pink truncheon. i teased the wrinkles of his scrotum with my fingernails. as i got myself ready to swallow him.

i laughed out loud at the endless shame of so many months. the clumsy guilt of our first few words. it no longer seemed scary at all. it seemed the most natural thing of all. this was love. my first affair. no secret tryst. pure public adoration. instinctively, my other hand reached for his shaft. easing the skin back once more. until that moist throbbing knob was out again. asking to be sucked. like my whole life had been waiting for this moment. my head bobbed forward. and i licked at the greasy helmet. then popped him into my mouth. then i let my tongue wander down his shaft and lick his balls.

i fondled each jewel gently between my fingers before sucking on them in turn. but the sweet juicy fluid and moistness of his knob kept tempting me back up the shaft. to sup his nectar from him. each time i did he groaned and put his hands in my hair.

eventually i let him force me onto him. pursing my lips so that they brushed against the soft velvet of his helmet. wiggling my tongue around the ridge. making him moan with delight. then on into the back of my throat. as far as i knew how to go. back then. so i had not dreamt it. it was all deliciously clear. this was what cock tasted like! i had not forgotten. and i loved it.

his taste was much stronger than i remembered from before. much hornier than a girl down there too. saltier, more potent. as my tongue lapped at him i could feel the slit continuously seeping that sticky juice. full of male lust and need. which spread through my mouth. i swallowed hard. then pressed him tight with my tongue to squeeze out yet more.

i very quickly got used to the pumping rhythm he wanted me to make. a couple of times he slipped out. but just whispered "it does not matter. i will take you back to my house soon. where i will teach you so much more. and i want that tight little backside of yours" i so wanted that too. but i remembered the last humiliating moment. the disappointment and shame of that medical announcement. from my secret cum-spitter. would my new man be more romantic? how would i find out? then i had an idea.

i stopped my pumping for a moment. just wanking him as i spoke. "will you want me to dress up as a woman?" i asked. my body shook with nerves and fear. what would he say? "of course" he said "you are far too pretty to be a boy. that was why i chose you. now you will be my little tart. it will take time. i will want to prepare you properly. make sure your skin is soft and smooth all over. make sure you are well-oiled and ready to accept my largeness too". i grinned from ear to ear. he knew how to treat a young lover. he would make me feel like a real lady!

"I can't wait" i said and bobbed my head furiously to and fro. i went gradually further each time. as i got used to having my lips forced so wide apart. stretching my face in a silent shout. and the feel of him hitting the back of my mouth. bruising my tonsils. his flavour flowed into each corner and crevice. slipping out around the sides. running down my face. i massaged his shaft as i bobbed my head. hoping i could masturbate him to orgasm. but he kept bucking his hips. thrusting forward. making it plain he expected me to swallow more.

i was so desperate to please him. i knew i had to try. i shut my eyes and began to lengthen the pumping strokes. eventually i pushed my head a little bit further onto him. sucking his knob into the back of my throat. i let out a muffled squeal of delight as the helmet slipped past my tonsils. but i could see my lips were only halfway down his shaft.

his hands moved around my head and he pulled me towards him. forcing my face further over his length. until he began to press into my neck. at first i went willingly. it felt good to have so much of him inside me. it was exciting to feel him filling up my throat. i was so proud to accept him so deep. but then i began to gag and choke. i started to panic. i couldn't breathe. my hands went up to push against his hips. but i was too weak and feeble.

i tried to make a noise. but nothing came out. he didn't seem to care. still he kept pushing at my head. he was so big. i thought of him inside my backside. his fullness pulling me apart. probing the deepest recesses. drenching the scalding heat up there with his showers of cream. that very thought made me sigh deeply with uncontrolled lust. and my throat opened wide to welcome him deep deep down into me.

he sighed with delight as my nose rammed into his crotch. he wiggled my head to and fro. so his cock moved in and out a few inches. then he gasped. ever so slowly he eased himself out of me. depositing showers of cream every inch of the way. my breathing became clogged and congested. like i had eaten too many mashed potatoes. and they had lodged in my throat. then he was out of me. pointing his cock at my neck. watching the thick, chunky streams slide slowly down onto my chest.

when he had finished he buttoned up his coat. without even putting his cock away. "you can suck on it while i am driving" he explained glibly. he would not let me clear up either. "I like my lovers to smell of me. and to wear my mark" i nodded. it all made so much sense. i was his now. to do with what he wanted. more than that. i was his woman.

i would love to tell you about the wardrobe he had waiting for me. and the clothes he made me wear that night. and how beautifully he took my virginity. and how many times he made love to me that night. but i am still a little shy about that first love. perhaps another time?