Hi to all,
I'm happy to be a member here and I would like to share my story about what I've now labeled, my constant attraction. First and foremost, I am totally head over heels attracted to trans gurls and have been for a number of years. In the past, I had numerous moments to this fact, yet I either ignored them or confused those signals with something more generalized. So let me see if I can get my story laid out in an understandble way.
It started from an interesting position. For as far back as I can remember, I'd had a huge thing for women's feet, even as far back as pre-adolescence. I would fantasize about the feet of female celebrities, my fellow girls in class, etc. I always held this fantasy and attraction private for fear that girls would ridicule me for it. Later as I ventured out into the city, I discovered an outlet in the form of adult bookstores. I would frequently comb the fetish sections savoring the many foot fetish mags and would even purchase tokens to watch video tapes in private viewing booths. In fact I frequented the adult bookstore so often that the magazines had become were pretty predictable. One day I stood in line at the counter to ask when new magazines would be unpacked and my wandering eye ventured to the "alternative lifestyles" section of the store. It was there that I saw magazines such as Ladylike, Tapestry, and other crossdressing materials. Surprisingly, I could not take my eyes off the cover girls, especially after realizing that they were men who'd dressed up as women. The images stayed with me so much that I stepped out of the line and discreetly made my way to that section. I picked up a copy and feasted on the pictures of the beautiful gurls and was immediately drawn to the pictures of them in intimate scenes with men. There was something profoundly different between the crossdressing gurls from their genetic girl counterparts. I became instantly immersed in the magazines and dove into each and every one of them for an abundance of time. I became so intrigued that I browsed through the video tapes and chose one to view in the private booth. Two things happened. My heart raced and I experienced multiple orgasms watching with amazement as these crossdressers make love with men. They possessed a feminine grace and magnitude of sensuality that superseded that of real women. While I did continue to browse the female foot materials whenever I came back to the adult stores, there was no way that I could leave without spending a lot of time in the crossdressing materials. I quickly identified my favorite gurls; Crystal Crawford, Chloe, and Kelly Michaels.
The bigger contradition was that, although I had discovered this attraction for crossdressing gurls, I continued to date genetic females only. But in secret, I continued to experience the constant attraction to CD gurls. I'd also discovered a part of town where there were many CD gurls and I would take advantage of every opportunity to go through there to enjoy their beauty from afar. Once in awhile, eye contact would be made, smiles exchanged, sending my hormones skyrocketing like crazy, however I did not initiate anything farther. One unfortunate reason for that was because I had gotten hung up on social labels fearing that I would be labeld as gay even though I had no attraction to men whatsoever. The other thing was that even if I had pursued a CD gurl and we had an encounter, I feared that the level of intimacy would have been one-sided because even though I would have been highly attracted to her, I had no desire to touch a CD gurl's penis. I know that this sounds confusing and selfish on my part, but I simply had no attraction to the penis. Sure, I loved how they looked in makeup, in dresses, jeans, sandals (I had a big turnon by CD gurl's feet), and their beautiful asses, but nothing else. I'd even fantasized about what my favorite position would be for making love to a CD gurl - her face down on the bed (or described as facedown, ass up), me lying on top of her, sliding in and out of her beautiful cherry, while kissing the back of her neck. From the videos that I'd seen, I had also found the act of rimming a CD gurl a total turnon as well burrowing my face deep between her shapely mounds. I found it highly erotic to hear a CD gurl's ass being referred to as a pussy. I was also most drawn to erotica which involved lots of kissing, caressing, and hand holding. Scenes that made it appear that the man and the CD gurl were genuinely a couple. It never extended beyond fantasy and viewing numerous tapes and magazines of CD gurls being made love to by men.
I also became aware of two news stories that involved trans gurls. One involved R&B singer Teddy Pendegrass who'd had a bad car accident. Controversy spread because this man who was adored by women was in the car with a CD gurl. Years later, a news story came out about comedian Eddie Murphy being scrutinized for having a trans gurl in the car with him. Several members of the trans community stated that he was no stranger to trans gurls and it was rumored that he'd had numerous discreet sensual encounters with CD gurls. Both times, I was intrigued. There were other men out there like me, who'd had a fascination to CD gurls.
But I continued to keep my attraction to myself. I had mistakenly felt that society would label me as gay. But I'd also come across foot fetish material involving men on men, however it did not have any level of intrigue. I was, however, constantly being drawn to CD gurl materials. Nothing about men-on-men erotica intrigued me in the least. In fact, I found it a turnoff. This is not to say that I disapprove of same sex relationships, because I am totally supportive of the GBLT community. But it was very clear that men were not for me. What was also very clear was that I definitely had a thing for CD bottom gurls. I thought that it was an ultra sensual scene to see a man slipping into the asspussy of a CD gurl and her assuming the role of a woman (actually better than a real woman) for her man.
Years later, I combed the many classified ads of CD gurls in an alternative newspaper. I ran across one and we had a brief encounter. It was a pay for play type of thing. I'd had mixed feelings about such things because I did not want to participate in a prostitute kind of scenario. I inquired and she invited me over to her apartment and agreed to me giving her a sensual foot massage, no sex per my request. I had to see what it would be like to be with a CD gurl. The CD gurl was a young one, possibly mid 20's of Spanish decent, long curly hair, a beautiful face, and very petite. I enjoyed the softness of her pretty feet as I massaged them and it was one of the most exciting experiences I'd ever had. As I was about to leave, I couldn't help but ask a question to see if she'd be open to it. I asked if I could kiss her. "Of course," she said draping her arms across my shoulders. I placed my hands on her slender waist and our lips met. We didn't French, only kissed several times lip to lip. Her lips were so full and soft and it was as if her lips were caressing my own. It was without a doubt the most sensual experience that I'd ever. No woman that I'd ever been with provided such a sensual kiss. I could only imagine what it would have been like had we explored a more passionate kiss. As if she could sense my nervousness, she placed her forehead onto mine and said, "it's okay. I'm glad that you asked to kiss me. I liked it and I liked the way that it felt when you massaged my feet." Her words of assurance did a lot for me. I remember feeling as if I would be judged by women had they known that I had an attraction for feet. But this CD gurl was so assuring and comforting that everything about our time together felt right. It was the only time that I'd been with a CD gurl and yet, it is something that I will always look back on with fond memories and I will cherish it for the rest of my life.
So where does this all find me today at present. I continue to have the attraction for CD gurls. I have accepted that it is something that will forever be a part of me. While I do have this attraction, I am not seeking to hook up with a gurl. My outlet are the CD websites, video clips, and stories on the net. I savored movies such as Different for Girls, A Soldiers Girl, and the Crying Game because they all included romantic encounters with a man and a CD gurl. I would frequently pause on the cable channels during shows such as Ru Paul's Drag Race to admire the awesome beauty of the gurls on that show. Once in a while I would stumble across a CD gurl on a membership site that offered stimulating and tasteful conversations. I belong to sites such as this one only to have fun and continue savoring and celebrating the awesome beauty and sensuality of CD gurls. I continue to find them the epitome of grace especially in the face of so many genetic women out here trying to prove how tough they are. Call me sappy, but I also read romance novels which revolve around CD gurl characters and experiencing mutual love with a man. I used to fantasize about meeting a CD gurl and enjoying discreet experiences with her, savoring long sessions of kissing and carressing. I still do fantasize about that, however I am no longer contemplating pursuing it. There are some who would say that I should never abandon the possiblities of that fantasy coming to fruition and leading to beautifully sensuous moments with a CD gurl. But I am at a different stage in my life now and I have come to to grips with the fact that the ship has sailed. I am eternally grateful for the one experience that I had with the young Spanish CD in the late 90's. It truly was an amazing experience and one that will forever be in my heart. But now, I simply enjoy the movies, clips, pictures, stories, and blog entries that I run across on the web. And again, I am having a blast with it all. Do I sometimes insert myself into the man's spot in some of those videos? Sure. It's still exciting to envision kissing a CD gurl. But I am content with living vicariously through the web.
So that's my story.
All my best to the beautiful CD gurls on the site. The time, energy, money and effort that you put into looking so amazing is greatly appreciated. The level of sensuality that you possess is truly remarkable and exciting on so many levels. Keep doing what you do. Despite the hatred going on in the world in regards to CD gurls, you have so many men out here who appreciate you and the stuning beauty and feminine grace that you add to the world.
I will share more on the blog of this site whenever I can. I'm happy to be here!