I just can't stop being a gurl as in looking back on my life things would have been different but yet here I am in the latter part of my life a closeted gurl sneaking my times to dress and adore my fem body. I've accepting not only that but that I'm pretty much queer as though I enjoy women I prefer being with a man when I'm either fully dressed or just in lingerie and heels with him. Makeup of course but with some men that just prefer no wig and a bit of lipstick. As you can see by that last statement I do what I'm told when with a man or dom gurl. Bought 6 more panties which I will take photos of and [] I purged so much in the past like many of us but always come back. Now if I do that it's just because I want new things like bras, panties, hose, heels. My wife is a lovely lady who I no longer have sex with but doesn't like me dressing though she knows little of it. She's finally stopped nagging me about being shaved all over which I think would be a key to my fem side. She did walking in on my and was here on NTN looking at a close up of a darling pantie with a lovely cock in it with the head just peeking over the top. She briefly saw it and said is that pantie as she'd only seen it in the window reflection. I closed it fast and said yes, Christmas shopping so she let it go thinking I was buying for her. A lot of years now leading this double life but I've come to grips with it as the gurl in me would so love to come out full time. That said realistically I'm passable to some extent going out in evenings but otherwise if I like many were to go out and try to live a normal life as a gurl we'd probably be in for a lot of ridicule. So closeted I will stay and find those that are like me to share with as well as men who will like me as the gurl I really am. Besides, most of the men I've been with don't like to sleep with men but do like to sleep with me and gurls like me. So they are closeted too. There are so many of us walking out there in the world and no knows who we are, do they.
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