Just a bit of introspective thought. But I've always wondered why men can occasionally wear women's underwear & lingerie and that's "tolerated" by both men and women. I mean, even if men would give another man in panties a hard time, sadly not literally. It hardly comes to the level as being treated as a social pariah. But if I were to put on a dress and heels, it's creepy; it's unattractive/ugly, & sometimes even referred to as a "disgusting habit!"
Now for me, I just love the feeling of the clothes. Especially when they're all satin in several layers. And unfortunately, men's outer clothes don't provide that feeling. When I'm dressed up, it gives me the feeling of being touched all over. And being touched is what I miss / what I need the most. There's nothing like the feeling of someone else's hands running all over your body. And I really only get that when I'm fully dressed up.
Plus, I love seeing the clothes. There's nothing like the sight of a gorgeous dress, stocking covered legs, and nice pair of stiletto high heels to really bring out the look of those beautiful legs & ass. But anymore, it seems, that more trans men than women are wearing dresses. It's a disappointing transition in this world.
And I literally despise how this world is literally black and white when it comes to everything. Either you're a man and expected to wear cotton "tighty whitey's" or a woman, and you can literally wear anything you want! Want to dress in blue jeans and a t-shirt? Fine. Want to put on that dress, not one though or judgement. But why can't Masculine Bearded Daddy's on the outside, actually like to wear a dress? Why is that considered so disgusting, that it's a relationship ender? Especially when it's only practiced at home in private? I have no expectations, or desire of ever going out in public and being accepted wearing a dress and heels. I do like the feeling of outside wind going through my dress, and stocking hose. But that's something just for me, and I prefer discretion when I'm outside at a public park, etc.
I mean, the real question here is why are gender expectations so high that just going from panties and lingerie under my day clothes to actually putting on a dress and heels; why is that an almost uncrossable line for most people to accept?
When I was married, she would buy me the lingerie, the stocking hose, and all that. And we would have an absolute blast in the bedroom! I really miss that. And I miss her, dearly. But all it took to literally turn her stomach & destroy everything is when I put on her heels. And all the things that she participated in, encouraged, and enjoyed just turned to $hit and I was instantly a disgusting pariah in my own marriage! It's seriously left a deep cut in my psyche.
And now I find myself in the same position; in a sexless relationship that started great 10 years ago. I'm back to those habits that always brought me great pleasure, but again the same result. I feel like I'm literally screwed in any relationship. But also, I'm at the point of giving up and just purging everything. Maybe I keep a few nighty's, some panties, and a pair of stocking hose. But everything else I love has to go.