heelscindy's Blog

It's eight am Phoenix time and I'm meeting a girl I met on NTN in real life at 1:00 today. She's just a bit younger than me and I want to suck her so bad. She can fuck me if she wants.

The problem is I have anxiety issues. Will satisfying my oh so wanton cravings kill me with worry.

The plan is for me to meet her in guy mode, but wearing pantyhose and light make up. Not obvious, but if you look. After coffee, the idea is to enjoy a lingerie show where we dress for each other and play. Sounds like fun. I'm promising her a blow job, but now I'm tense. Hopefully she relaxes me.

Despite being a crossdresser from childhood I'd never owned a wig or did makeup until about 4 years ago. I've always wanted to see how girly I could get, but the opportunity just wasn't there. I finally made it happen and it was so nice.

I was having some anxiety problems caused by a number of things(work, cheating on my wife with a cd) and I told my therapist about my crossdressing desires and how I would dress in my wife's lingerie and dresses(to the extent I could). My therapist was cool and knew a little bit about crossdressing. She told me I should work it out with my wife.

I didn't talk with my wife right away, but I did do a few things to make my look better. First I bought the wig you see in my pics and then I started learning to put on makeup. I've never got great with makeup, but I tried. Best of all, I loved the feeling. I started buying my own lingerie and heels. To complete the look I purchased some very sexy breastforms.

Most of the pictures I post are from that period. About that time I did get up enough courage to be honest with my wife. It didn't go well and we sort of agreed not to talk about it. I also started shaving more at this time.

I wasn't passable, but I looked as good as I could. The time I spent dressed(including a few trips out) were magic.

I hate it I was born in the south to a military family in the 50's. Being gay, much less a crossdresser, was unheard of except as an insult. I'm so clearly bi it hurts.

BTW: I don't dress now. It was hurting my wife and it wasn't worth it. It's a pain she can't me dressing but since she can't it was better to give it up better than make both of us unhappy. I'd still love a sweet cd girlfriend however!!

I found a few of my old posts on flickr. These are from about three years ago. I was doing my best to look as tarty as possible.

My first wife wore the cute panties girls wore in the 60's, but we weren't that much into lingerie. We did buy her a very sexy little peek-a-boo bra, crotchless pantie set at Fredericks of Hollywood however. Transparent, purple material, it showed off her very plush little body nicely.

When she left, she left the panties/bra behind. I don't think she suspected me of dressing at the time. Just wanted to let me know what I'd be missing. I wore the panties a little, but I was just starting college and I wasn't that into crossdressing a the time.

I was in the third grade when I discovered my grandmother's old bra and panties in the garage. It was separated from the house and we'd play in there. There was an old dresser in there she kept misc stuff in. Being nosy and bored I would look through the dresser. The strictly white and functional bra's and panties were a thrill for me even if I wasn't sure why. I think I tried things on once or twice, but mostly just fascinated by women's lingerie.

In the 5th grade we were living with relatives and my aunt tried to get me to wear one of my cousin's dresses out on Halloween. I went as far as trying on the dress and modeling it for the adults, but when my aunt suggested panties I panicked and refused. I said it was too girly for me to do and changed back into jeans. Secretly I would have loved to have gone for it.

I was in the 7th grade when I started wearing my mother's pantie girdles for fun. Plain white, firm control, actually pretty sexy. Loved them, but didn't get that many opportunities. Also discovered my dads porn. He was really into mother/son incest porn. I like it myself along with xdressing stories.

In the 9th grade we're back to visiting relatives and find my cousins garter belts and panties in the cloths hamper. The little functional garter belts women wore with hose in the late 60's. Still very sexy. Some crossdresser feelings, but mostly excited about handling intimate garments worn by a "woman".

So I was pretty into women's lingerie even before I had a good understanding of sex. That's never changed. I still love sexy lingerie on sexy girls of every description.