I've been in contact with a lovely man who so wants to meet, sleep and fuck me. Chatted with him online today and it was so lovely and I was so turned on and so was he. So want to be with him when I can get away from the wife. While chatting as I didn't think he'd be on I was just in a very dirty pair of my own white panties with a lovely cock dildo in me feeling very fem and then all of a sudden he popped into the chat room and told me to go private with him though he had no cam. I do what I'm told as a gurl. He is so sexy and though I've only seen pics of his cock it is huge and would just be delightful for me and I think I could make him so happy. We chatted for a long time and trying to figure out when and where to meet as I want to be dressed for him and wants me fem. What other way is there. So I found two motels close bi with reasonable prices where we can me. I was so hard online, full 8" when we chatted and I made me fuck myself with the cock dildo I had in and I wasn't clean which made no difference to me. He then had me show him the dildo close up and it had big chunks of my feces on it and he made me suck it and eat them. Surprisingly enough they were quite sweet and I actually liked it and he liked that I was so subservient to him which I am with every man I'm with. Hopefully we have a date soon. I'm very kinky as you can tell and he's got me more kinky now that I like my own poop. So sexy, so queer and so much fun.

Just back from a cruise with the wife and so missed being able to dress but was able to get on my laptop to see others and get myself off being jealous. However, I did a few times with with out of the cabin put on her panties and bras and admire how I looked in them with the big mirror which was at the foot of the bed. It's amazing when I dress how sometimes I get so turning on just seeing myself fem and my 8" cock rising out of my panties knowing I want and gurl like me or a man to take me the bed and make mad passionate love to sticking his big cock into my pussy and cumming hard and long while tell him how much I love him and to please get me pregnant. It was a nice fantasy on the ship but glad to home where I can dress and get back to the real thing.

I woke this morning and immediate feel my erection which wasn't a pee erection but my so feeling girlish. My wife next to me and didn't want to waste a good erection so went into here closet and put her bra and pantie on and then a loose top so bra didn't show show much. She's not big breasted though now an and she kind of a B cup. So I don't know if anyone whose had photos done or their own has really stopped to that a look at yourself all fem or naked. I did this morning and this may seem strange but I fell in love with myself and my erection in the wifes silky pantie was bigger than ever. That may sound strange as I went through my hundreds of photos util without touching myself sent one of my biggest loads into wife's panties which immediately and sucked what I could. I hope there are others out there like me others that love me.

I haven't viewed my pics for awhile and when I do I'm always shocked and a bit embarrassed when I see my X rated images of my pussy and the lovely things I put in it when I so turned on to being the gurl I love to be. I do wish I had more of the pics of all the different items I've taken. I once after fucking myself with several things sat on a very large bed post and slid it into my pussy with some extreme care but the act of doing it had my 8" cock so hard and as you know once you get it in you can then slide it in and out with some ease and it's like getting fucked by the biggest cock you could ever find. I also, if you know what a belaying pin is used to use that as it's a large bublous pin used to hold ropes on sailing boats and it's quite large. Was one of my favs when I lived on a boat. So though I'm embarrassed sometime when I see my pussy like this it just tells me who I am, a perverted queer faggot who loves to be fem and wants kinky sex with men which I've had but not often enough.

I so love to dress and know with many it's a passion and I love to fully dress and be fem makeup, wig and all. My recent photos are bold for me as for so often i haven't like many of us shown our faces but I did here fully made up as hoping should anyone see these photos they wouldn't know me as a the male I am. I know that my wife who may suspect but doesn't really know I dress as briefly seen pics of me on my computer while I was stupidly editing and she was home and to slow to close so just let her look. She didn't know it was me and I was in a pink bra and pantie with silver heels, photo taken at our front door, fully made up but no wig and she didn't recognize me but thought is was an image sent by a friend or surfing internet and didn't give much credence to it. Thank Good as was expecting quite a conversation after that. Also caught me in the closet the other where I was trying on a blouse of hers and she walking just as I had it mostly off and commented on "are you now crossdressing", and I was able to say just checking for a Christmas presenty for you. Have to more careful as she doesn't think much of crossdressers. So putting my images with makeup here for all the see is a stretch but have had so many wonderful, wonderful comments it's worth it and know we all respect our privacy as we are in a different world. So I hope you enjoy my images, comment and would love to chat with you. And if anyone has had any problems when showing face please let me know.

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It's been awhile since I could fully dress as wife home 24/7 lately but today she's gone for the day a far enough that I know she's not going to cum home unexpectedly. So I get to go full gurl which I so love as soon as she's out the door, my bra goes on, I'm already wearing nice sheer lace panties, and to the makeup table taking my time to put my makeup on. If you've looked as my images, my new ones show the new panties and bras I've bought so anxious to wear those again but just more anxious to just be a gurl. So wish I had another cumming over but I'll settle for some chat and cam time and just be sexy around the house. Bought a new shade of lipstick, dark red which I got at the store and wife found it in the shopping bag. Forgot to take it out and she said "what's this" and I told her I thought she'd look good in it. She bought that and put it on the same night when we went out to dinner. I hate lying about my being fem and a cd and even that I've slept with a few men but she wouldn't accept and I wouldn't blame her. Well if you read this, hugs and I'm off to dress and be the gurl I love to be.

I just can't stop being a gurl as in looking back on my life things would have been different but yet here I am in the latter part of my life a closeted gurl sneaking my times to dress and adore my fem body. I've accepting not only that but that I'm pretty much queer as though I enjoy women I prefer being with a man when I'm either fully dressed or just in lingerie and heels with him. Makeup of course but with some men that just prefer no wig and a bit of lipstick. As you can see by that last statement I do what I'm told when with a man or dom gurl. Bought 6 more panties which I will take photos of and [] I purged so much in the past like many of us but always come back. Now if I do that it's just because I want new things like bras, panties, hose, heels. My wife is a lovely lady who I no longer have sex with but doesn't like me dressing though she knows little of it. She's finally stopped nagging me about being shaved all over which I think would be a key to my fem side. She did walking in on my and was here on NTN looking at a close up of a darling pantie with a lovely cock in it with the head just peeking over the top. She briefly saw it and said is that pantie as she'd only seen it in the window reflection. I closed it fast and said yes, Christmas shopping so she let it go thinking I was buying for her. A lot of years now leading this double life but I've come to grips with it as the gurl in me would so love to come out full time. That said realistically I'm passable to some extent going out in evenings but otherwise if I like many were to go out and try to live a normal life as a gurl we'd probably be in for a lot of ridicule. So closeted I will stay and find those that are like me to share with as well as men who will like me as the gurl I really am. Besides, most of the men I've been with don't like to sleep with men but do like to sleep with me and gurls like me. So they are closeted too. There are so many of us walking out there in the world and no knows who we are, do they.

I went into Walmart yesterday to get some things for the wife and came out with 2 new bras and 3 new panties one which I have on right now. The panties are lovely thongs and the bras are 36b with a bit of uplift for my breasts which are getting larger due to the hormones. My wife has noticed that but I blamed is on getting a bit older. Hope to do more images today to post. My new everyday panties are panties and told wife they were made for men and she bought that be did notice one of the panties in her pantie drawer so guess they are panties. I wear her panties all the time and she hasn't a clue but it's getting confusing which is good as when she does the wash I notice she's putting more of her panties in my drawer.

The wife finally noticed I was wear some nice new panties though they are supposed to be for men and said they were very sexy. That's it so I'm going to buy more now that she accepts them as they are much more comfortable and make me feel so much more like the gurl I love to be. My next would be to add some lace to the panties. What do you think?

This just my comment to my own blog which is wife saw them on me and said "Oh, so you're dressing left now". In other words she could give a shit how they looked on me. Funny as the site I bought them on all the wives had raved about how their men looked in them. Guess that's why I don't fuck her anymore and prefer being with men.