its good to be back even if it is for a limited time span - i have been undergoing treatment for the brain cancer i have - it has given me a bit more time - i have been given another 6 mo to a year - given that i should be dead now - thats not bad -
i have celebrated by purchasing some new clothes - and some fuck me heels - interesting to walk in to be sure - i am getting used to them - slowly but surely -
i am a submissive - very submissive looking for a master or mistress to help me explore that side before my time is gone - but my fears are great -
my sissy stick is so hard in its cage right now - dam uncomfortable to say the least - may i please get it out and stroke it, i do promise to eat my cum if you let me?

subcock

i have been posting a few pics here and there - some are just kind of playing with the time i have remaining and things i would like to do - have been picking up stuff of late - new panties - corsets - stockings - a cock harness - estim stuff - i figure that with the time i have left i might as well explore some of that stuff i have always wondered about - posted last night in a black corset laced tight to give me a 34 inch waist - there is a new one on the way - a white one which should lace tight to 32 - i do enjoy the restrictive feeling of them - wow - you dont bend much - pics i posted last night with that laced tight - a tight 4 inch posture collar and a ring gag - well - on ones knees it looks like the perfect position to have cocks shoved in ones mouth - seems to me with all that there would be little choice in the matter really - your help in the right posture, mouth open to whatever anyone wants to put in it or have you swallow - i would love to have someone use me that way - dam -
well - i have about 6 months of some quality of life and i am going to be playing and dreaming of being totally used as some Mans slut - i wonder what it feels like to be restrained and used having no control or say in the matter - well - i have 6 months to dream and think - after that - there will be maybe another 6 until i am dead - hey - its what it is - too bad really there is not the time to foster that trusting relationship with a dom to see about living some of my dreams - ah well -
i will be posting again tonight - been in the birdlock for a week now - am planning to use the estim tonight - got the ass plug too - wow - is that a feeling..........

thank you for reading my blog

subcock

a month or so ago - doctors were talking in months - have made it thru the chemo - the radiation - god....how painful that is - the latest gives me a year or so - not much more - they figure i will get something like 6months of being able to do things and then its hospice care - have been looking here from time to time - would love to make that dream of being a used cock slut happen - but there is little time to develop any kind of a relationship of trust that needs to be - am not looking for love - just looking to be used for sex - oh well - i thank those of you who have left comments - thank you so very much - perhaps i will post again soon - but am pretty puffy due to the chemo - yuk - but i am back to panties full time - i missed that - and back to dreaming of being used for some mans pleasure.........
will be around
thank you for reading my blog
subcock

well the first week is over - thats about all one can say - been thinking of stuff - how i so desire to be sucking a cock - being a sub - that whole feeling of it - a panty clad collared cock slut - sad it will never happen now - no time - oh well......

todays postings will be the last for a while, if the last period, did you like the ruffles???? i do hope so - i enjoyed wearing them -
tomorrow i resume chemo, the cancer i have been fighting for the last year has spread to my brain and an organ or 2 - it will be chemo everyday for like 2 or 3 weeks and then more chemo and radiation treatments - i am thinking positive but the odds are not so good -

i do enjoy seeing the other postings here - and i thank you for allowing me to be part of this - i will be looking from time to time

its been fun - thank you

i am sorry its been so long since i last wrote in my blog, i do not know why i have not, but i have not - perhaps i should be spanked severely for that -
i have continued to do as i have - panty clad for the day and night - feels so nice against my shaved cock and balls - even now i am sitting around in those light pink ruffled ones i posted just a bit ago -
i have had a Dom start a dialog with me, he has somehow peaked my interest and seems to know what he is doing and the ways of a Dom, i actually think he has read my blog about limits etc - i am even now following his desires in a safe and sane manner which there seems to be no question about - we shall see what happens -

thank you again for reading my blog

subcock

i have been wearing panties more and more these days, under my clothing for what amounts now to all day, no matter where i am going or what i am doing - i so love the feel of the lace, the nylon, the satin of them against my cock and balls, it gets me aroused - i changed into the white briefs and stockings after taking a shower today(see photos) was immediately aroused, my cock leaking pre cum - its quite the wet spot now - i will now lounge around the house in only those -
i must also mention the allure of the risk of discovery while wearing them, there is always that risk - a slip, a this or a that - company that shows up without calling first - that too is part of the arousal -
i have to consider myself a crossdresser i suppose, as i dont wish to wear dresses, i have a bra or 2 which i wear from time to time but i dont get the same arousal as i do with just wearing panties..........oh well - i do enjoy it and will continue - i do hope you like viewing my selections

thank you or reading my blog

subcock

i have been trying to answer that question for a while - what do i call myself, there seems to be so many names out there - cock slut - sissy - faggot - cross dresser - tv - gay - bi - slut - bitch - slave -

just where do i fit in - i do know a few things - first off that i am attracted to women in a loving relationship kind of way, i am not looking for that from a man, however - i am very attracted to both sexes in a power exchange way, wishing to turn over control to a Master, Mistress or both and be used -

i do so enjoy and get so aroused by wearing womens lingerie, yet i do not wish to go out dressed as a woman, wearing them underneath my regular clothing - yes - lounge around the house in them - yes - but i have no desire to wear make up, dresses, and really even a bra - i will wear one at the dictates of a Master or Mistress - but its not something i desire -

i dream of being used by a man, submitting to him in all ways according to my limits - i wish to suck cock, get fucked by cock - worship cock - i never have and its always been a latent thing within me - wanting to do so - now more than ever - i do view that as a sexual thing - power exchange and nothing more -

i do dream of bondage - discipline - the paddle - perhaps the crop - being collared and bound - being used for the pleasure of a Master or Mistress - explore my limits in that -

so what am i - i think i am a submissive cross dressing cock slut slave

if you have thoughts on this i would very much like to hear them

thank you Sirs for taking the time to read my blog

subcock

i received a pm from a member last evening asking me what kinds of harnesses and cbt devices i had - i did respond that i had 2 stretchers, one a parachute the other a lock on - that i had several cock rings - one with a ball spliter and stretcher -
in response the member sent a list of discipline instructions to be accomplished this morning and to be posted today -
i was to put on my red fishnets with the bows and then install the butt plug cock ring one hour before the rest - which was done - then i was to add the parachute ball stretcher with at least 2lbs of weight on the end of the chain - then i was to use no less than 10 clothes pins to clip the shaft of my cock with at least one at the tip - i was then to swing the weight and stand for 45 min before removing the pins - i was to take several pictures and report in this blog what transpired -
after about 15 min the weight started to really pull on my balls, it felt so tight and started to get a bit painful - the clothes pins bit into my shaft - the more i swung the weight the more they bit and the more my balls felt squeezed in the stretcher - after 30 min i was not sure i could make the 45 - the pressure on my balls was huge - the pins biting into my shaft - i was so glad to see 45 min go by - i started taking the pins off......oh.......they hurt going on, they bit while on - that was nothing compared to the pain when taking them off after 45 min - it stung, it pinched, have never felt that much pain on my cock before - its left some very sore spots now - i think that was the point - i removed the weight next - oh.... to get that off was wonderful - but my nuts ached some - the stretcher bit into my nut sack leaving some marks which are still a bit tender - i was to wear the cock ring plug for another hour before removing it - in that time i was to walk at least a mile with it in - i did - the thing wiggling in my ass the whole time -
i am a bit sore at this writing - i do hope i have now fulfilled any discpline requirements - and after all - i did ask for instructions..........

subcock

the night before last i unlocked myself from my cage and jacked off without permission from anyone and agreed i should be disciplined for doing so - had hoped a few members would either pm or leave discipline instructions to be followed on the blog, i received one pm and it desired that i be disciplined by wearing the trailer ball plug in my ass for the day today, it was installed at 8 am and has been rolling around in my backside ever since -
this plug is interesting - its not very long yet it is somewhat wide and in the shape of a ball - once inside it feels huge - that round shape just in there - as i walk and move my ass cheeks move the base around which moves the ball inside around quite a bit - if i move - it moves - it has become somewhat uncomfortable with all its movement - i think it feels bigger now then when it was put in - i will be taking the plug out at 8pm, thinking that a day with it in is what was desired, unless of course i hear differently -
i do feel i should have been disciplined more - had other tasks to perform to make amends for jacking off without permission - if you do have ideas and they are within my limits please do tell me -
as always i am most willing to give myself to a safe and sane Master, Mistress or both to be used by them as they desire....

thank you for reading my blog....
subcock